Was it a Dream?
by Housaholic32
Summary: Complete! Epilogue Added! House has to deal with life after the shooting. He discovers love, loss, and love all over again...well maybe.H and C. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1-221B Baker Street…The Happiest Place on Earth

House sat on the couch in his living room looking very nervous. For the last twenty minutes he'd been counting the little stucco bumps on his on his ceiling. House thought that he was doing pretty well, he had reached 4,617 before he lost his finally lost count "Damnit! 1...2...3...4" Suddenly a loud knock called him back to reality. "What the he- oh yeah right" he said as he got up. "This is not over" he said as he pointed menacingly to his ceiling "Before I die I WILL figure out just how many of you stupid little bumps are up there." House walked to his door and put his hand on his doorknob "just breathe, everything is gonna be fine…I hope." In one swift motion he turned the knob and pulled the door open.

"Hey" he said as he looked down at the floor nervously to avoid eye contact.

"Hey-sorry I'm late I got stuck in traffic…hope I didn't worry you" Cameron said with a smile.

"Worry me? Are you in denial? I'm Greg House…nothing worries me. I'm as cool as a cucumber…a little less green though and I'm seedless, which is a good thing ,at least in my opinion. anyway. Wait is being a "seedless" man a good thing? I'm not so sure…"

Cameron let out a small giggle as she and House sat on the couch a comfortable distance apart.

After a good half minute of semi-uncomfortable silence Cameron finally broke the tension "So what's going on? Why did you ask me to come by?" she was nervous and so was he.

House looked at his watch then at the ceiling remembering how just moments earlier he had been matching wits with his stucco-he missed it. "Why did I ask you to come by? That's a good question actually." He decided to pause for effect before continuing. "I asked you to come by because I wanted to tell you that…I love you" He was still staring at the ceiling.

E-excu-excuse me?" Cameron stuttered barely able to comprehend what was just said to her.

"I said…I love you Allison Cameron." He was looking at her this time.

"A-are you just saying this so you can swab the inside of my mouth again?" She asked clearly still not understanding the situation she found herself in.

"No" House grinned "I'm completely serious…I am in love with you…always have been."

"Okay…wow…this is a lot to take in" Cameron said as she got up and sat at House's piano.

"Do you want me to play something for you?" He asked clearly nervous, this really wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

"No, but I would like a drink-got any scotch?"

Now House was really nervous "Umm…yeah sure" He got up and poured two glasses. As soon as he handed her the glass she swallowed it's contents in on quick gulp. "Wow…" he said.

"yeah wow" she repeated.

House went into crisis control mode "Look Cameron I was just kidd-" Cameron suddenly kissed him before pulling away.

"I'm in love with you too Greg House…always have been" With that they both stood up and began to kiss each other passionately. House pulled away momentarily "Bedroom?" He said. They frantically made their way to House's bedroom removing articles of clothing along the way. Cameron and House fell on to the bed entwined in one another when suddenly House heard keys jingling outside his door.

"Aw damnit! Cameron I need you to do me a favor…"

"Sure anything Greg but what's wrong?"

"Just get in my bathroom and stay as quiet as you can…don't come out okay!" "Are we in danger? Should I call the police?"

"No, just go" he growled. Cameron did as she was told and hid in the bathroom, while House quickly put his T-shirt and jeans back on as he ran and opened the door.

"Hey babe" he said before gently kissing Stacy on the lips.

"Hey yourself….why are you breathing so hard and why is your shirt on upside down?" she asked playfully.

" I thought you were gonna be gone be home next week?" House asked.

"Well yeah but the client decided to settle out of court so I came home. Why are you asking? Were doing something bad?" Stacy asked as she gently kissed him on the lips.

"Me? Never! I'm glad your home, I missed you." He kissed her forehead.

"Greg what's going on? Who's there? Is it safe?" Cameron asked stepping out of the

bathroom.

"Oh boy…THIS is going to be awkward." House whispered.

"What the hell is going on Cameron!" Stacy yelled. "House are you sleeping with that little stick figure!"

"House! You're seeing this Btch!" Cameron screeched.

"Now wait a minute I can expla-" The ringing telephone cut him off. House went to grab the phone

"Don't you dare pick that up" Stacy scowled.

House slowly backed away from the phone fearing for his life. After four more rings the machine finally picked up "Hey Greg. It's me Lisa I'm outside. Let me in so we can head out on our date" A loud knock came from the door.

"What!" Stacy and Cameron said in unison.

"Oops…" House sighed. Stacy ran to the door and opened it.

"Hey Greg are you-"

"Lisa! Are you dating Greg?" Stacy was yelling at the top of her lungs.

"Stacy? What are you doing at Greg's apartment?"

"Cuddy what's going on?" Cameron quickly yelled.

"Cameron? Your there too? Greg what's happening? Why are Stacy and Cameron at your apartment?" Cuddy asked in a clearly confused manner.

"Now look ladies I can explain…I'm involved with all three of you. I know it's seems really evil of me but I love everyone of you-"

You are so dead!" Stacy yelled at Cameron "You can't have him!." Cameron screeched.

"Neither of you can have him! He's mine!" Cuddy barked.

"Whoa….ladies there's plenty of Greg House to go around. May I suggest some sort of group activity?" House quipped.

"A foursome!" They asked in unison.

"Sure if you guys insist…I've never turned down three beautiful ladies at once and I'm not about to start now."

Cuddy pushed House on his couch "Okay House, get ready for the night of your life!"

"221B Baker Street" he mused "The Happiest Place on Earth."

House closed his eyes and for a moment he felt great, he thought about the three most prevalent women in his life and how much he cared about each of them. He thought about naïve Allison Cameron and how he wished he could protect her from all the bad things in the world. He thought about Stacy Warner the woman who stole his heart and his leg, he would never forgive her-he would always love her. He thought about Lisa Cuddy, his boss and most honored adversary, he loved arguing with her and the strange feeling of acceptance that he felt when she was near. He thought about these things until a strange pain welled up inside him. Suddenly his neck and side hurt. He felt strange and tired. He opened his eyes and realized where he was, the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital ICU. He was lying there with two new holes in is body and with five doctor's and a lawyer at his bedside.

"Oh yeah" He whispered "I think I preferred my dream."

"House?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-The Lapse

"House can you hear me?" Wilson asked enthusiastically.

"Unfortunately…" House replied dryly.

"Well we know the part of his brain that controls his attitude hasn't been damaged" Wilson said slyly to the others in the room.

"Too bad…" Foreman remarked. Everyone let out a small laugh…except House.

"Dr. House you've been shot..." Cameron said.

"Way to state the obvious…see, your not just a pretty face, you're smart too!" House said coldly looking straight in to her eyes.

Cameron was taken back by his response. The comment itself wasn't really that bad, but the way in which he had said it seemed cold and unapologetic as if he was really trying to hurt her. He had nearly been killed and had been in a coma for days, and despite the fact she had spent every waking moment at his side he was still treating her like garbage.

Cuddy took notice of the tension and decided to speak. "House the man that shot you was-"

"I don't care what happened to him" House interrupted.

Cuddy continued "His name was Jack Moriarty…apparently his wife was a patient of yours four years ago…"

"I don't care!" House barked.

"Okay…just so you know he's dead security shot him twice and he didn't make it…" Cuddy trailed off not wanting to push the subject.

"Fine" House spat out.

Everyone remained quite for what seemed like an eternity until House finally spoke again "Who's my attending?"

"I am" Cuddy said as she raised her hand slightly.

"Great…" House said "this seems very familiar, you and Cutty-Mc Gee over there…" He nodded in Stacy's direction "last time we were in this situation things didn't end to well for me."

Stacy's eyes began to fill with tears and she sped out of the room bumping into Chase in the process. Cuddy followed her out the room giving House a look of anger and sadness.

"Look Dr. House maybe you should jus-" Chase began. "Why don't you go too? I hear you're pretty efficient at comforting women where they're scarred and vulnerable." He looked in Cameron's direction.

"You can be a real ss you know that." Cameron walked out before she started to cry, she didn't want House to see how much he had hurt her. Chase followed Cameron out in to the hall.

"You have anything to say?" He asked Foreman. "Nothing that hasn't already been said" He walked out of the room.

Wilson was sitting in the chair to House's left. He stared at House-almost on the verge of tears. For the first time in a long time he really wanted to hit House. The anger was building up inside him-consuming the sense rationally and calmness that he usually felt now there was just blind rage. "They were just here to help you, to support you and you treated them like trash!"

"What's your point? I always treat them like trash."

Wilson was standing directly above House now "Not like this! We've been through hell, we weren't sure if you were going to wake up, or if you were going to die. We've been sitting in this room for two days praying to God for you to be okay, and this is how you repay us? Hous-Greg…listen to me" Wilson sat down again finally regaining some of his composure "I know your angry, but this isn't their fault. As much as your hurting, make sure you don't push them away, they can help you…they want to, all of them, all you have to do is let them in" Tears were running down Wilson's cheeks now, but he didn't care. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

House nodded slightly and muttered under his breathe.

Wilson took a deep breathe, it felt like the first one he'd taken in years. He Felt as though House was truly sorry and needed to be alone with his thought's "If I go out and do some damage control are you going to be okay?"

House looked though glass doors and saw Cameron, Foreman, Chase, Cuddy and Stacy standing together consoling one another. "Go ahead" House said. Wilson nodded put his hand over House's and headed out the door.

House watched the activity in the hall. Wilson was doing his best to comfort everyone, giving the occasional hug to anyone he thought was in need. House was keeping count, in the ten minutes since Wilson had left the room he'd given Cuddy two hugs, Stacy five and Cameron six., even Chase got one. House smirked at that and made a mental note to use it against Chase later. He figured Cameron would get the most, she was always too emotional. The hallway suddenly cleared and House felt alone, the pain began to creep up on him. He looked down toward his morphine drip, He turned it up as high as it would go and laid his head on his pillow, closing his eyes waiting for it to take effect.

"Would anybody really miss you if you were gone?" Moriarty's voice ran through his head "…your miserable for nothing!"

He opened his eyes in an attempt to stop the voices-It worked. He stared up at the ceiling. "Stucco…" he mused "I knew we'd meet again." "…3,201...3,202.…3...,2..,0...3. He closed his eyes and before he knew it the stucco was a distant memory.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-House, this is God

"House, this is God"

A booming voice entered his ears and made House's whole body shake. Without opening his eye he said "Wilson, haven't we done this already? It was funny the first time but come on, you definitely need some new material."

Silence.

House kept his eyes closed. He wasn't going to let Wilson get to the best of him. More silence. House was getting more annoyed with each passing second but he wasn't going to do say anything until Wilson made another move.

Even more silence.

"God damnit Wilson! Say something!"

House finally opened his eyes. "Wilson?" House was shocked, the room was empty. "Huh? I must be hearing things…pain causes psychosis" He looked over to his drip and turned it all the way up "Morphine don't let me down." he whispered as he closed his eyes again.

"Open your eyes !" The voice was louder now, as if the man it belonged to was standing right above him.

"What the he-" House opened his eyes "Jesus Christ!" House grabbed his chest when he saw the very familiar face standing above him.

"Not exactly…but I do know him very well" The man said.

"Steve McQueen?" House queried.

"I guess you could call me that…or you could call me God, whichever works best for you." Steve replied.

"huh?" was the only thought House could manage to put together.

"I'm God" he said again smirking slightly.

House had come back to his senses now. "Well 'God' great work on the grand canyon and good luck with the apocalypse. I'm obviously losing my mind so I'm going to sleep, you can let yourself out." House nodded towards the door as he laid his head back down and closed his eyes.

'What the hell is the matter with me?' House thought. 'Am I losing my mind?' House lay silently in his bed, eyes closed, contemplating, trying to rationalize what was happening to him-it wasn't working. House opened his eyes.

"Where the hell am I?" House stood alone on a deserted road. One path behind him, two in front.

"Hello Greg" Steve said from behind him.

"Jeez! Would you stop sneaking up on me, your gonna give me a heart attack!" House shouted.

"No I won't your going to be just fine, trust me I know" Steve spoke in a kind, gentle manner-House found it annoying.

"What's going on, where am I?" House asked.

"You my friend, are at a crossroads in your life. I 'God' have brought you here to illustrate that fact. " Steve looked smug.

"I see, I would think that with you being 'God' and all, you could come up with a more original way to express that. Fork in the road doesn't seem a bit too cliché to you?" House quipped.

"See that Greg, that's why I created you…" Steve sat and a chair appeared beneath him.

"Huh, neat trick. Can you pull a quarter out of my nose?" House was unimpressed.

"Maybe later" Steve replied.

"Would you like to take a seat before I begin, Greg?" Steve put his arm out to his side and chair appeared.

I think I'll stand" House said quickly.

"Now Greg as I said, you are in at a major crossroads in your life." He paused for what seemed like an eternity. "At this very moment your life can go two ways, the first way, the path to your left, leads to your salvation. If you chose this path you will live the rest of your life blissfully, surrounded by people who love you. However, this path will be very difficult and full of hardships but it will be worth it when you find her in the end.

House looked up from the ground and towards Steve. 'Who is "her"?' he thought.

Steve smirked. "She loves you, just give her a chance." House nodded.

Steve continued " The path to your right will lead to your demise. It is full of lies and deceit-addiction and pain. You will be forced to watch everyone you care about disappear from you life-you will die alone."

House nodded.

"The choice is yours Greg…"

House was standing directly between both roads. He looked straight ahead then to both sides. He stared down each road. 'They look the same to me' he thought. "Use the force Luke" Steve said from behind him.

"Oh, shut up!" House bellowed-Steve just smiled. House wasn't sure what he wanted in life. He had always been self destructive-he had always hated himself. There were times when he wished his life would just end, the path to the right was a great way to accomplish that wish. The path to his left-the path to her. He still wasn't sure who her was, but he wanted to find out. House walked towards the path to his left.

House walk and walked and walked. The road seemed to have no end in site-it went on forever. House was getting frustrated "Hey God, you think you could use those neat tricks of yours to give me a Honda Super hawk? Bikes are much faster than my feet you know."

Silence.

"Didn't think so…" House whispered. He walked again. Exhausted, House laid in the middle of the road, his muscles ached and his mouth was dry. "You know, your nothing but a big bully" House yelled into the sky. He closed his eyes ready to give up.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his cheek-he opened his eyes.

"It's you" he said his voice horse.

"Don't worry I'm always here for you, I won't let anything happen to you, I love you too much" Her voice was full of love and affection.

"I love you too…"he said.

"Rest Greg, I'll protect you."

He closed his eyes, he felt safe and warm. He hadn't felt that way in a long time-he slept.

"Hey how are you feeling?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 -The realization

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks for taking care of me babe…" House mumbled eyes closed still half asleep.

"Babe? What are talking about? Are you having naughty dreams House?" Chase tried to stiffle his laughter.

"Huh?" House asked he was awake now.

"You just called me Babe, are you coming on to me?" Chase giggled.

"What, you surprised? Your practically a women anyway, I saw Wilson hug you yesterday, I always knew you had a thing for me-but sorry I don't swing that way."

Chase scoffed clearly offended, but still he couldn't help but laugh.

"Where is everyone?" House asked. He was groggy-feeling the effects of the morphine.

"Well, Dr. Foreman is in your office working on a case…and Dr. Wilson-" Chase began.

"What makes you think I want to hear about them?"

"well you asked…"

"Come on Chase you've gotta read between the lines, use your manly instincts, wait never mind I forgot who I was talking to."

"Right…" Chase said-he was insulted again. "Well Stacy had to go home and check on Mark, she's been here three straight days…" Chase waited for a comment from House. Nothing came so he continued. "Dr. Cuddy is in her office trying to hire better security so that next time someone tries to shoot you the hospital will be prepared. And Cameron is right there." Chase nodded to House's right where two chairs that had been used to create a makeshift bed.

Cameron lay on top of them looking sad yet peaceful all at once.

"Huh." House said. "Yeah" Chase responded. "I just came to check on you …and Cameron, everything seems fine so I'll be back later, okay?"

"That's fine…and thanks" House said softly.

Chase nodded and left the room.

House sat in his bed and watched Cameron sleep. "I found her…" he in a soft voice.

House pressed the button at the side of his bed and paged the nurse. A male nurse with curly blonde hair came running into the room.

"Whoa, whoa slow down there partner…" House said quietly nodding towards Cameron.

"Oops, sorry" he said.

"No problem uh…" House looked at the nurses nametag "Steven" He continued on "Steven is there anyway you can QUIETLY bring a gurney in here for doctor Cameron? She doesn't look very comfortable."

Steven was in shock, House was being nice. He was at a loss for words "Uh, sure no problem, I'll be back in a few." Steven shuffled out of House's room.

He sat in his bed, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed. "I always knew it was you" He said softly.

"Uh Dr. House I have the gurney…" Steven said a he slowly entered the room. "Great bring it over here" He motioned to the side if his bed , Steven did as he was asked. "Now can you please pick her up gently, and put her on the bed." Steven nodded and gently lifted Cameron of the chairs and onto the gurney-she was a very deep sleeper House thought.

"Thanks…" House whispered.

"No problem Dr. House, make sure you get some rest."

Once Steven was out of the room House looked over to Cameron. Again he watched her, he was transfixed. House felt a strange feeling inside him-something he hadn't noticed before. He felt happy, truly happy. The idea of Cameron sleeping next to him gave him a high like he had never felt. Finally he laid down on his right side-his bad side so he could keep watching her sleep. He took her hand in his and squeezed it…She Squeezed back. House smirked and closed his eyes.

"I can't believe I didn't notice it before" he said. He slept.


	5. Chapter 5

To the readers,

Thank you for all of the kind reviews, I really appreciate it. It is exciting to know that people are enjoying my story.

I just wanted to tell you all that for some reason I can't seem to add lines in certain parts of my chapters to seperate different points of view. I'm afraid that some things may be a little confusing without this but please try and bear with me. If anyone has had this problem can you please let me know and if possible suggest a solution.

Thanks in Advance,

Houseaholic32

Chapter 5- Jubilation

Cameron awoke the next morning in the same place she had fallen asleep the night before-sprawled across two very uncomfortable chairs. She found it strange, she felt so rested and didn't feel uncomfortable at all 'good chairs' she thought to herself.

Cameron sat up and stretched,. Strange memories came flooding back to her. She wasn't sure if they were real or if it had all been a dream-one thing she was certain of though-she had enjoyed it. She remembered someone lifting her up and placing her on a bed, She remembered someone squeezing her hand-she remembered House. 'It was all a dream' she thought. Disappointment came over her face. She looked over to House's bed- he wasn't there "House?"

House awoke that morning holding Cameron's hand, he noticed she hadn't moved since the night before. He watched her sleep for what seemed like an eternity and he didn't seem to care he was caught in the moment. He was still watching her when Foreman walked into the room.

"Hey, How you feeling Hou-" His voice trailed off as he noticed Cameron on the gurney next to House, he was still holding her hand. "Uh…maybe I'll come back later" Foreman said he was embarrassed at the situation he found himself in. He walked out.

House nodded.

It was at that moment that House decided that he didn't want to deal with the situation at hand…at least not yet. He felt like he wasn't ready for With Cameron still asleep he looked over at her one last time and smiled. He made a mental note of the moment and how happy he felt-he knew it would be a long time before he ever felt that way again. He called for a nurse-Steven came into the room.

"Everything okay Dr. House" Steven was nervous, he was worried that House had returned to his usual abrasive self. Steven braced himself for a rude comment bur none came.

"Hey Steven, can you pick up Dr. Cameron and put her back on those chairs?" House hadn't lifted his head he was staring at his sheet his eyes fixed on it. Steven nodded and did as he was told. He placed Cameron gently on the chairs and began to walk out of the room "hey, take the gurney will you?" House looked up and said just as Steven reached the door.

"Sure thing Dr. House." Steven grabbed the gurney and wheeled it out of the room.

"And bring a wheelchair in here too!" House shouted. Just then he remembered that Cameron was still sleeping. "Damnit!" House cursed himself under his breath. Steven arrived moments later with a wheelchair and helped House of his bed and into the chair. "Ahhh jeez! Watch it lift me like that again and you'll get my foot up your hole!" House growled.

"Sure thing Dr. House." Steven laughed as he wheeled House into the hall.

House made Steven leave him at the elevator. When he was out of site House turned around and headed for the stairs.

House needed to go to the one place that he felt at peace when he was at PPTH, the one place where he could think clearly-He needed to go to the roof.

House sat at the foot of the stairs still in his wheelchair. "Deep breaths." he said under his breathe. He removed his left leg from the stir-up and placed it on the ground "damnit!" House muttered, his leg was stiff. He braced himself for the immense pain that was to come- He removed his right leg from the stir-up and placed it on the ground "Ouch…no wait…" It felt the same as his left leg-stiff, just stiff. He reluctantly stood up, he felt fine, his legs felt fine. He grabbed the railing and took a small tentative step.

Left leg forward. Right leg forward. Nothing. He kept on going. Left leg forward. Right leg forward. Left leg forward. Right leg forward. He began to go up the steps faster and faster until he was running at full speed skipping four or five steps at a time like they didn't exist. House suddenly looked up and realized there were no more steps left to climb. He looked behind him and realized what he had just done. He walked towards the door and opened it. As he stepped out a cool fresh breeze welcomed him like an old friend. Tears of immense happiness began to run down his face. He closed the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6-Victory and Defeat

Cameron searched the hospital frantically trying to find House. She went to his office, to the clinic, Cuddy's office, Wilson's office and every single mens washroom in the hospital but he was nowhere to be seen. He nerves began to get the best of her. What if someone had tried to hurt him again? Or had taken him from the hospital? Cameron cursed herself for falling asleep. As she wandered the halls still in search of House, she came across a wheelchair parked in front of the staircase that led to the roof. The chair read 'PPTH 3rd floor: Diagnostics'. "House!" She said aloud. Cameron began to climb the stairs, she wasn't sure how it was possible but she knew House would on the roof. She opened the door.

House was sitting on the ledge, his back again the wall. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice the door swing open.

"House?" Cameron asked tentatively. He didn't respond. "House!" She said again with more confidence then before. His head shot around.

"Hey" he mumbled. He was happy to see her, yet at the same time he felt angry that she had taken away from his moment. House had never known how to deal with his happiness, so when that rare feeling arrived inside him all he wanted to be alone-she had ruined it.

"A-are you okay? I mean how did you get up here?" Cameron spoke with a great deal of concern in her voice. She was worried for him-she didn't want to see him in pain she cared for him too much.

"Well I took the stairs silly…and I'm fine." House responded in a tone that was usually reserved for children and really unintelligent adults-Cameron was neither. He was patronizing her, trying to upset her just a little-he always thought she was cute when she was upset. She sighed-he smirked.

"But what about your leg?" Cameron asked.

"Why didn't anyone tell me that you actually gave me the ketamine?" House questioned.

"Well, Cuddy and Wilson said not to mention it since it wasn't likely to work, we figured it would be best not to get your hopes up…"

"I'm not a child Cameron!" House shot back quickly-Cameron flinched. House noticed and calmly added" You should've told me…"

Cameron lowered her head" Your right I'm sorry I wante-wait if you know about the ketamine then that means it must have done something!" Cameron lifted her head, exciting was building in her voice. "House, tell me."

He looked up to meet her gaze. "It worked." he said.

"It worked? It worked!" She ran over to him and buried herself between his arms resting her head on his right shoulder. She ran to him instinctively. It never struck her that me may not have reciprocated. She had waited two years for this moment.

House looked down at Cameron. Her hair smelled like fresh granny smith apples- he like it. With a nervous apprehension House hugged her back. He felt like he was at home in her arms. He had waited two years for this moment.

They stayed there in each others arms, as though that simple hug had said everything that each of them needed to hear. Suddenly many emotions began to well up inside of House. He felt excited, nervous, happy…he felt love 'No!' he yelled to himself 'I'm not ready, not yet!' He lowered his arms, gently grabbed her waist and pushed her away.

"Why did you have sex with Chase?" House asked coldly without any incentive. The question surprised him just as much as it did Cameron.

"Ex-excuse me?" Cameron stammered.

"Why?" He repeated. There was no turning back now.

"I had taken drugs I-I- didn't-" House cut her off.

"Oh please, I take drugs all the time and I don't have sex with Chase-Well actually there was this one time behind the whiteboard after we'd had a few dri-"

"House! Please this isn't funny" Tears were beginning to well up in Cameron's eyes.

"Then be honest with me, I need to know, why Chase? Why not Wilson, or Foreman or-"

"Or you?" Cameron interjected.

House nodded.

"I went to Chase because I was lonely, and scared, because I knew he wouldn't say no. I went to Chase because…because he reminded me of you." Cameron let out a huge sigh of relief as if a weight had just been lifted from her shoulders. In an instant she realized what she had just said. She held her breathe in nervous anticipation.

House had no words. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. Was he supposed to be flattered? Angry? Jealous? Happy? He had no clue-he hated the feeling. House looked at her-je looked through her. He needed to know what she was thinking. He could see that the damage had been done.

Tears started to fall from Cameron's cheeks-she was terrified and angry. How could he do this to her? Toy with her emotions? He had hugged her, which was more then he had given to her in over two years. In his arms she felt safe-she felt like she was home. She thought he felt the same way-maybe she was wrong.

Cameron regained her composure. "Are you going to okay up here alone Dr. House?" She asked sternly.

House nodded slowly.

Cameron nodded back, opened the door and left House alone.

In that moment House thought about nothing-he thought about everything-he thought about Allison Cameron.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Metamorphosis

House hadn't taken a vicodin since he had been released from the hospital two months earlier. After his confrontation with Cameron on the roof he decided that he needed to change-he needed to be better. Quitting this time had been much easier then his previous attempt. The ketamine had not only fixed his leg but it also seemed to have weakened his drug dependency. He had went through a mild withdrawal period the first week he was home. To fight the discomfort he felt he ran. He had a new addiction now.

House breathed in the cool morning air. As each as breath filled his lungs, it seemed to give his legs the little push they needed to keep going.

Left leg forward. Right leg forward. 'Push harder!' Left leg forward. Right leg forward. Left leg forward. Right leg forward. 'Breathe deep!' Left leg forward. Right leg forward.Left leg forward. Right leg forward. 'Faster! Greg…FASTER!' Left leg forward. Right leg forward. 'You're almost there!' Left leg forward. Right leg forward.Left leg forward. Right leg forward. 'Don't stop!-Don't ever stop…'

House was running faster then he had ever done before. He ran with conviction-nothing had even felt more natural to him, well almost nothing. He ran up hill, down hill, on the sidewalk and on the street. He kept his piercing blue eyes on the path ahead, the hospital was just a mile ahead of him. He remained focused on his goal. He was running to her-he knew he was ready.

He pushed open the Main doors of the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and made his way to Cuddy's office-she had paged him just before he had left home. Still breathing heavily, he pushed her office doors and they swung open.

"Did you run here?" Cuddy was shocked to see a very sweaty, tired Greg House barge into her office.

"It's just…eight miles" House stammered, he was still breathing heavily.

"Why did you-" Cuddy began.

"Because he can…" Wilson interjected. He was happy for his best friend, yet a small part of him longed for the needy Greg House. Since the shooting House had changed. He had became more independent-in a good way. He started buying groceries and eating something other than peanut butter and jelly. He didn't enjoy going to bars anymore, all he wanted to do was run.

"Ketamine treatment can wear off." Cuddy asserted. She knew House was ecstatic but he had to take it easy or everything could crumble beneath him.

"It been two months Its not wearing off" House said confidentially. He looked down at the file folder he had picked up off of Cuddy's desk.

Cuddy smiled at him.

"You wanna hear me thank you again? Okay, thank you Dr. Cuddy for not just removing the bullet, thank you for putting me in a chemically induced coma and changing my life. Happy?…I am." House said whimsically.

Silence.

"Anyways…enough about little old me, what's with the patient…" House looked at the file "Charlie Daniels?"

"Well he's-" Wilson was cut off.

"Hold that thought," House sniffed his armpits. "I stink, I'm gonna go take a shower I'll meet you in the conference room in half an hour." House said as he began walking towards the door.

"But House he needs to be looked at!" Cuddy barked.

"If I don't go up there within say…the next thirty minutes, will he die?" House asked although he already knew the answer.

"Well no…" Cuddy knew she had lost.

"Alright then. Assemble my minions." House walked out of the room.

Cuddy and Wilson stared at each other.

House began running up the stairs. .Left leg forward. Right leg forward. 'Don't stop!-Don't ever stop…'


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8-The infamous Whiteboard

House stood alone in the elevator feeling smug. The last two months had been an emotional rollercoaster for him. ; he had been shot, had regained the use of his leg and he had kicked his vicodin habit. There was one last thing he needed before he could find happiness-he needed Cameron.

The Elevator doors slid open. House strutted out wearing nothing but a towel a pair of Asics Gel Nimbus VII's and a big smile on his face. Everyone in the hall turned towards House and stared at him intently. Nurses, Doctors and patients began whispering amongst themselves and pointing at House.

House couldn't remember the last time he felt this good-nothing was going to take away from the joy he felt. House walked towards the conference room and noticed that the blinds were closed "Time to make an entrance she'll never forget" He mused. House opened the door and walked in.

House entered the conference room. His team sat around the table, cuddy leaned against the wall and Wilson was standing by the sink.

"Differential Diagnosis people" House said.

They all looked up.

Everyone's jaw dropped as they looked up at House. Chase coughed loudly and Foreman shook his head. Cameron was blushing profusely, trying to look like she wasn't watching him-She was doing a terrible job. House took notice.

"House! What the hell are you doing?" Wilson bellowed. He was smiling from ear to ear, he couldn't help but laugh at House and his blatant attempt to get attention.

"Well I thought it was obvious, I'm going to do our whiteboard meeting. You know that thing we do to try and find out why the patient is sick." Nobody said anything so he continued "Okay, see when a patient is sick we come in here and-" House was cut off.

"Alright House, we get it your crazy just continue." Cuddy nodded towards the whiteboard.

"Fine" He walked over to the white board and picked up a marker. "What causes a 21 year old male to suffer exhaustion and hallucinations?" house asked the group assembled before him.

"Could be Vasculitis, better check his blood" chase said.

"Do a full blood workup, also get an EEG and MRI" House began writing symptoms on the board.

"Schizophrenia causes the hallucinations; guy gets exhausted from trying not to hallucinate" Foreman added

"get a psyche test" house told them. "Anything else?"

"Systemic Lupus Erythematosus?" Explains the exhaustion" Cameron blurted out. Her cheeks were still bright red.

"It's always Lupus with you isn't it?" House looked back at her.

"TB? Maybe he went on a trip to Africa or something" Cuddy said

"hm…could be, better ask him, we'll find out when we get the blood panel back though" house walked over to the sink and began making coffee.

"what does my bestist oncologist think?" House asked giving Wilson a look that you give to a good child.

"uh, could be kidney failure, causes hallucinations and exhaustion." Wilson said. "better do a CT to rule out anything neurological"

"my oncologist doesn't think its cancer? Shocker, Chase, do a biopsy, CT scan, and get an echocardiogram to rule out congestive heart failure" House said.

Chase nodded and left.

"You wanna do a kidney biopsy and this could be a simple case of TB?" Cuddy said.

"yea, I dunno if you picked this up in med school but kidney failure is a VERY bad thing, I figured we may as well check to be safe."

"uh, fine, make sure he consents" Cuddy sighed and left the room.

"Run the tests for STD's, especially HIV, if this guy's been sleeping around or sticking himself with dirty needles, that could be his big problem and I wanna know about it." He told Foreman. He got up and let the room.

"And you…" He nodded in Wilson's direction. "Don't you have bald kids to take care of?"

"I'll see you at lunch House" Wilson said as he walked out of the room.

House and Cameron were alone in the conference room. They stared at each other silently before Cameron finally spoke.

"You gonna stay like that all day" She nodded at House's towel.

"Right…" He said. "Come to my office."

House backed away from the whiteboard and left the conference room. Cameron followed.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9-The Betrayal

House opened his office door and walked in.

"Close the blinds" He said.

Cameron reluctantly did as she was told. 'What the hell is he doing?' She thought to herself.

House walked over to his desk and bent down with his back to Cameron. He picked up his duffle bag, placed it on his desk and began to rummage through it.

"I could of sworn I had a pair in here somewhere…A-ha!" He pulled a pair of boxer shorts out of the bag. While looking at Cameron he placed the boxers around his feet and then pulled them up. He pulled off the towel. "There" he said "Much better."

Cameron looked down at his right thigh. She took notice of his scar and flinched slightly before she realized that House was watching her. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine, I wanted you to see it." He went back to looking through his bag, he pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans. He pulled them up.

Cameron couldn't believe what she was happening. House had always been so guarded about himself, yet here he was half naked standing before her. She continued to stare at him. He had developed more muscle over the last two months. If it was possible, he looked even better than before.

"I've asked you to come in here because I need to talk to you Allison." House had grabbed a T-shirt from his bag and was pulling it over his head.

'Allison?' Did he just call me Allison?' Cameron was in shock. She had known House for over two years and not once had he called her by her first name. Cameron heart began to beat even quicker and she began to feel slightly dizzy. She sat down in the chair opposite of House's desk. Her mind began to race and a million little voices started yelling in her head. 'Is he going to ask me out?' One voice said 'Are you crazy? This man is an arrogant jerk, he's playing games with you!'. She was terrified-she was afraid of what was to come.

"Listen I know I've been an arrogant jerk…"

Cameron chuckled.

House looked up with hurt in his face. He saw that she was now straight faced and eyeing him intently. He dropped the duffle bag on the floor and sat down at his desk.

"Like I was saying, I've been a real bastrd to you in the past." House looked down and began to play with his thumbs. "And…I'm sorry." He looked up again. " I've tried so many times to push you away and you always came back, for that I thank you."

"House I-" Cameron began.

"Please I need to say this. When I got shot I realized something, I realized that my life was going nowhere. I realized that I was destroying myself. Then I had this dream and I talked to God and he said-"

"You talked to God?" Cameron interrupted.

"Yeah, in a dream-look just forget about that will you, it's not important." He continued. "The point is that I realized how much I need you in my life-how much I love you."

Cameron stopped breathing. She began to sweat and fidget in her chair. 'Why did he have to do this now?' She thought to herself. In a matter of moments House had given her everything that she had dreamed of for the two years. He had just professed his love, and had admitted that he had a problem. She looked down. Everything was going wrong.

"I don't know if you know this but…I haven't had any vicodin since the shooting, and I haven't had a drink either. After we spoke on the roof I decided that I needed to change-so I quit. I started running" A feeling of satisfaction began to overtake House. Everything was going right.

"I'm telling you all of this because I want us to try again…will you go out to dinner with me Allison?" House was nervous. He began to breathe deeply-he stopped blinking.

"House, I-I don't know what to say…" Cameron stammered.

"Say yes."

"I'm sorry, I can't" Tears began to form in Cameron's eyes.

"Why not?" House looked up. He was beginning to feel sick.

"Because I'm seeing someone" Cameron said. The tears were falling down her cheeks.

House stopped breathing. It was like a knife had just done through his heart. He assumed that she would wait for him. That naïve little Allison Cameron would wait forever for him-Now who was being naïve? He wanted so badly to get up and whip the tears from her cheek and tell her everything was going to be okay-he couldn't. For the first time in a long time House was terrified. He believed what he was told in his dream-what God had told him 'Everybody lies' he thought. Or maybe not, maybe he still had a chance. Whoever it was she couldn't have been seeing him for long, maybe she would leave him for House.

"Who is it?" House asked apprehensively.

Cameron was silent.

"Please tell me!" He raised his voice slightly.

"Wilson…" Cameron blurted out. Her tears were falling non-stop. She buried her face in her hands. She wasn't supposed to tell House. She had betrayed Wilson-betrayed House. She wasn't sure which was worse.

Tears began to fill House's eyes. He stopped breathing. He felt angry, he felt sad, he felt alone. His best friend and love of is life had been seeing each other and neither of them had told him. Until now-until he had spilt his heart and professed his love- until the guilt had consumed her. House stood up and walked towards his door. He swung it open and walked out. He let it slam shut and it shattered instantly. He began to run.

"House wait!" Cameron screamed.

House didn't look back-he kept on running. 'Don't stop!-Don't ever stop…'


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10-The Confrontation

House was running through the halls of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. He was frantically pushing people out of his way in order to try and escape the nightmare he found himself in. His breathing was sporadic-like his thoughts. 'Cameron and Wilson! How the hell could they do this to me?' House was fighting to hold back tears. 'I tried so hard to be better and this is what I get!'

A sharp pain struck House's right thigh "Damnit!" House howled in pain. He lost his balance and fell against the wall. House shook the pain off and began to run again-nothing was going to stop him. His eyes were blood red, practically bursting out of their sockets. His teeth were baring because of the pain, and he was sweating profusely. He felt horrible-he didn't care. He ran to Wilson's office and banged on the door.

"Wilson!"

"House?" Wilson was confused. He was sitting in his office checking his email and confirming an appearance at an oncology benefit. "House?" he repeated again with worry in his voice. "Is everything okay?"

"I-I need your help Wilson, open the door!" His rage was growing and it was consuming ever fiber within him. House needed to know that someone else would hurt just a much as he did. Wilson was going to be that someone else. He stood with clenched fists leaning his head against the door ready to strike.

Wilson opened the door. "House are you ok-" Wilson was interrupted by the sound of House's right hook coming into direct contact with his face. Wilson fell to the floor instantly. He couldn't understand what had made House so angry. Then it suddenly hit him. "House look I can expl-" Wilson was interrupted again by House's left foot, which was sure to leave a distinct imprint on Wilson's gut. Wilson got up, holding his stomach. He scurried behind his desk.

"Look House, just calm down will you!" Wilson was spitting blood as he spoke. "I'm-I'm sorry, okay! It was an accident!" Wilson was breathing heavily.

"An accident!" House spat back. "An accident is you bumping into her in the hallway and grazing her ss with your hand! This! This is…I-I don't even know what this is! But it sure as hell isn't an accident!" House had no words-no snappy comebacks. for the first time in his life he had no idea what to say. House quickly tried to rationalize the fact. It didn't matter that he didn't know what to say, because at this precise moment, actions spoke louder than words. He walked toward Wilson.

Wilson was running around his desk to try and avoid House-to try and reason with him. "House! Look, why don't we just talk about this? I don't want to fight you, I mean you're…you're my best friend!"

"Don't you try to use that bullsht on me!" House yelled. He was still chasing Wilson and after several attempts he finally caught him by the collar of his lab coat. House pulled Wilson towards him. The shock of the crash almost made House fall to the floor. He placed Wilson in a headlock.

Wilson's head was beginning to pound as the blood rushed within it. "House I don't want to hit you! Let go now!"

House tightened his grip on Wilson.

"The day you drove me home from the hospital I told you everything! I told you about my dreams, and how I felt about her-I told you I loved her! You knew and you still did this! Your supposed to be my best friend!" House was screaming.

Wilson was beginning to feel lightheaded, he had to do something-fast.

"Fine!" Wilson suddenly shifted his weight causing House to loosen the death grip he had around his Wilson's neck. With the extra space Wilson brought up his elbow and House in the gut, which forcing him step back. He then made a fist and quickly struck House in the nose. He fell his back against the wall.

"Damnit, Wilson I think you broke my nose!" House gurgled as the blood dripped into his mouth.

Wilson was standing over House clenching his stomach. "Yeah well I think I may have some internal bleeding, and I'm missing a few teeth! Thanks for that by the way."

"I guess I win then. Internal bleeding trumps a broken nose any day of the week." House quipped. He started to laugh.

"Yeah I guess your right…" Wilson fell on the floor beside House and started to chuckle.

"That was a nice punch…I think I'm going to need you to reset my nose after, it feels a little off." House lifted his head and showed Wilson his nose.

"Alright no problem, but only if you pay to fix my teeth! It'll almost cover all the money you owe me for all of the lunches I've bought for you over the years." Wilson retorted.

House nodded and smiled slightly.

"What ever happened to bros before hoes man?" Wilson looked toward House and smiled.

"Cameron isn't a hoe, I though she was the one…" House looked down at the floor, as the full impact of the situation hit him again. Tears were beginning to creep up on him again.

"I know, I'm sorry…" Wilson put his hand on House's shoulder.

"I wanted to know how it happened." House said.

"Are you sure?" Wilson asked.

House nodded.

"We'll…"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- An everlasting memory

Two months earlier.

_Cameron shut the door to the roof. She leaned against the wall and slid slowly to the floor. House, the man she had loved since the first moment she had seen him sat on the other side. There had always been a wall between them, no matter how hard either of them tried to break it down, it still stood. _

_The minimal amount of composure that Cameron had held just moments earlier slipped away, and she began to cry. The tears that fell from her eyes and seemed to burn her face. She looked towards the door and placed her hand on the it. "House." She whispered so softly that she had barely been able to hear herself. "I love you…" Cameron slowly stood up removed her hand from the door and slowly began to walk down the stairs. _

_Cameron walked slowly down the stairs, sliding her hand gently down the railing. Her head hung in defeat, she had finally excepted it-her and House weren't meant to be. crash Cameron walked into someone._

"_I'm sorry it wa-" Cameron looked up. "Oh, Dr. Wilson" Cameron quickly whipped her tears away. "What are you doing up here?" She asked quickly trying to draw attention away from herself._

"_Well I was just looking for House. One of the nurses said she saw him head up the stairs." Wilson took a second look at Cameron. "Have you been crying? Cameron what did he do?" Wilson asked with a genuine concern. "Come on sit down" Wilson sat on the steps._

_Cameron sat next to him silently._

"_Please tell me" Wilson grabbed her hand and held it within his._

_Cameron looked up at him with tears in her eyes and nodded. "He was just, House…"_

_Wilson nodded. "And?"_

"_I don't think he can ever love me, and I'm not sure I love him anymore...we're just too different. I see that now." She stared at him intently._

"_Don't say that. He cares about you, he…just doesn't know how to show it." Wilson held her hand tighter. "Don't give up on him."_

"_I think it's too late" remarked. Her sadness was evident._

"_Cam-" _

_Cameron gently kissed him on the lips. He lets go of her hand and held her face. Moments later he pulled away. _

"_No, This isn't right…" Wilson stood up and ran his hand through his hair. "Look Cameron I'm sorry, I think there may have been some sort of misunderstanding here." Wilson shut his eyes. "House is my best friend and I can't do this to him."_

"_for once will you forget about house!" Cameron shouted. Her tone caught Wilson of guard. "You aren't his keeper-his problems aren't yours. Just this once think about yourself!" Cameron stood up and kissed him again. Wilson didn't fight her. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist. _

The blood that had been pouring out of House's nose had now crusted over. He sat against Wilson's office wall silent. Listening to Wilson recount the story of how he and Cameron had begun their relationship was difficult to hear. The thought of someone else-even Wilson-especially Wilson, being with made House feel sick. He stared straight ahead.

"House, are you okay?" Wilson was clearly concerned.

"I don't know" House mumbled.

Wilson took a deep breath. "Well if it makes you feel any better I plan on ending it…"

House looked up "What? Why? If you love her then I won't hold it against either of you…" He was lying.

"This has been in the works for sometime…it has nothing to do with you. Actually that's a lie, it has everything to do with you."

House tilted his head to the side and looked at Wilson. He was confused.

"Do you know what we talk about every time we're together?" Wilson hung his head. "We talk about you."

House smirked.

"The relationship that we have, it isn't even sexual. I mean 'we're together' but we haven't even had sex, it's weird." Wilson stopped speaking and looked over at House.

"You haven't had sex with her? Not even once? Sounds like you two need couples therapy" House was beaming.

Wilson chuckled. "We both just needed someone to lean on. Because when it comes to you House, we're both completely enamored. You do something to each of us-granted what you do to me is probably very different than what you do to her." Wilson smirked slightly. "Each of us just needed someone else who could understand what the other was going through. Do you understand?"

House nodded.

"Good." Wilson stood up and put his hand out-House took it. Wilson lifted him off the ground. "Let's g down to the clinic and set your nose." Wilson said.

"Oh, the clinic…lucky me. I can't wait" House joked. "Hey, what do you suppose Cuddy will say when she sees us?"

"She probably laugh, then make us do clinic duty." Wilson offered

"Yeah"

The two friends walked out of Wilson's office and headed down the hall, leaning on each other for support, like they had done for the last eight years.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12-Melancholy without hope. Which circle is that?

Crack

"Ouch, damnit!" House wailed, as Wilson bent his nose back into shape it's original shape.

"Oh, Stop being such a baby House. You've survived an infarction, you've been shot, and your complaining about this." Wilson began to laugh "Ah, crap!" Wilson ribs were in excruciating pain. "House I think I need to go get an x-ray, are you going to be okay?" Wilson was still concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." House replied. He laid his head down and closed his eyes.

Wilson walked toward the door and opened it. "How about us? Are we going to be okay?" After everything they had been through Wilson was afraid of losing his best friend.

House opened his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, we'll be fine too."

Wilson nodded and walked out of the exam room.

House laid there alone, lost in his thoughts. He thought about Allison Cameron-beautiful, smart, funny Allison Cameron. Tears began to fill his beautiful blue eyes. He loved her there was no denying it, but he was afraid. Like so many other times in his life, he'd tried to let someone in-to let her in, and all they had even succeeded in was breaking his heart. He was afraid that he had nothing else to give. At that moment he wished for a tall glass of whiskey and three vicodin to take the hurt away-none came. House was so preoccupied that he didn't notice Cuddy walk in the room. She was on a rampage.

"House!" Cuddy screeched.

House shuttered. The sound seemed to cut through him like a hot knife through butter. "Yes, my mistress?" He sat up slowly and looked at her.

"What the hell happened to your face, House?" She asked, more annoyed than concerned.

"I got into a bit of a tussle with a couple of biker's dudes, but don't worry I held my own. You think I look bad you should see what I did to Butch." House replied sarcastically.

"I don't have time to deal with your insolence right now! There's a waiting room full of people out there." Cuddy crossed her arms and stared at House intently.

"But mommy-" House began.

"I don't want to hear it House." Cuddy opened a file she had been carrying and read the name aloud. "Anita Jones! Dr. House will see you now in exam room one."

"Bu-" House was cut off.

"No!" Cuddy snapped. She walked out of the exam room just as Anita Jones entered.

Anita Jones was a tall woman with brown eyes and hair. She wore fitted blue jeans and a red t-shirt. She stared at House judgingly before finally sitting on the bed.

House began to look through her file. "Anita Jones, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well I'm feeling sick." She said assuredly.

"Okay, Can you be a bit more specific."

"I uh, I get these urges…" She looked straight into his eyes, and smiled slightly.

"Uhuh…" House hated to admit it but he was frightened by this woman. "Any other symptoms?"

"Yeah, when I uh, see something dirty I get really agitated and I have trouble breathing."

"Really?" House asked.

Anita nodded.

"Okay lets do a little experiment shall we…" House stood up and walked over to her. He extended his hand.

"What are you doing?" She asked nervously.

"I want you to shake my hand." He replied.

"But you haven't even washed it. There could be germs on it."

"Right, okay Anita I think you may have OCD." House told her.

"OCD?" She asked confused.

"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." He sat down again.

"But ho-" Anita was interrupted by Cuddy, who nearly plowed the door down as she entered the room.

"House!" She sounded upset.

"What in God's name do you want woman? I'm in the clinic aren't I?" He yelled at her without turning around.

"House…" Her voice was low.

"yes?" He asked slightly more agitated. He turned around and noticed that Cuddy was pale. Her blue eyes on the brink of tears. "What happened?" He stood up quickly and walked towards her.

"It's Cameron, she's been in an accident-It doesn't look good." The tears began to flow as she hugged House.

House's heart broke in two. The love of his life, Allison Cameron was in trouble and he couldn't protect her. It was all his fault. House fought back the tears that were dying to fall from his beautiful blue eyes. House snapped back to reality and pulled Cuddy off of him.

"Where is she?" He asked sternly, the tears began to fall.

"She's being bussed her now, they're about seven minutes away." Cuddy was more calm now. She felt that she needed to be strong for House.

House gently pushed her aside and ran towards the ER. The pain that he had felt moments earlier had disappeared. There was nothing but Allison Cameron.

'Don't stop!-Don't ever stop…'


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks to everyone for your reviews, I really appreciate it. This may be the last chapter I post for the next week or so. I seem to have a bit of writers block, plus I start grade 12 in a week, plus I'm getting a job. I won't stop writing but updates may be less frequent. I hope that everyone still continues to read after that happens. Please enjoy the chapter and I look forwards to all of your questions, comments and concerns regarding the story.

Thanks everyone!

Chapter 13-A whole new kind of pain

One hour earlier…

_Cameron sat in House's office in complete shock. She had told House the truth, that her and Wilson shared a special kind of relationship. Whether the relationship was sexual or not, it was still House's right to know. She couldn't in good conscience accept House's offer without first speaking to Wilson-she owed them both that much. House's anger had caught her of guard, she didn't even have time to explain the situation to him. Cameron didn't get to tell House how much she wanted to be with him-to tell him just how much she truly loved him. Cameron's eyes were burning, her hands were shaking, her heart was racing and her breathing was erratic 'So this is what heartbreak feels like' she thought to herself. _

"_House?" Foreman queried as he walked into House's office. Foreman was worried. A small crowd had gathered outside to see what all of the commotion was about. The shattered glass was a not a good sign, he thought. House must have done something, but how? Last thing he remembered House had been in the conference room with Cameron. He looked up. No House, but there was someone. That someone was Cameron. "Cameron?" He ran towards her, she was almost stoic. "Cameron!" He shouted and shook her slightly. _

_Cameron shuttered and jerked her head towards Foreman. She gave him a smile-an empty smile. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't find even an inch of happiness within herself. She felt empty and cold-she felt alone._

"_Did House do something to you? Did he hurt you?" Foreman was terrified for Cameron. They had been through a lot together over the last two years-good and bad. He owed her his life and then some. He felt as though it was her duty to watch over her-to protect her._

_Cameron stared at him intently. She still hadn't spoken._

"_Cameron please tell me what happened." The concern in Foreman's voice was evident. He took her hand and squeezed it. His big brown eyes began to fill with tears._

_Cameron finally spoke. "He told me he loved me." She said softly. The thought of House saying those words brought a smile to her face, if only for a moment._

"_Well that's great" Foreman replied. He was being honest. He knew that Cameron loved House, and he knew that deep down House loved Cameron too. "But how did that turn into this?" He nodded towards what was left of House's door and glass wall._

"_Eric, I appreciate the concern I really do, but I just can't talk about it-not yet." She strained as she spoke. As if every word she spoke caused her an almost unbearable pain. _

_Foreman nodded. He wasn't going to push her, he loved her too much._

_Cameron stood up slowly, her hands still being held firmly by Foremans. He stood up with her. "I think I'm going to head home, I'm not feeling very well." She seemed weak, tired._

"_Well I'll give you a ride then. The weather is pretty bad and you don't look well enough to drive." Foreman's offer was genuine and Cameron loved him that much more for it._

"_No, don't worry I'll be fine. Go treat Charlie." Cameron replied. She didn't need his pity, even though she knew he wasn't pitying her. It was simply the two years of working with House that was speaking, he was starting to rub off on her._

"_Okay." Foreman went against his better judgment and let Cameron leave. "Call me if you need anything!" Foreman shouted._

_Cameron nodded and left the office. She walked through the hall and towards the elevator. She stepped in. Suddenly it hit her. House had stormed off, but where had he gone? 'Wilson.' She thought to herself. She was scared for him and for House, but she couldn't bring herself to go and find them. She knew it was selfish but she didn't care. She needed to escape from all of this. The doors closed._

_Cameron arrived in the parking lot and walked slowly towards her beat up old Jetta. The moment her back hit the drivers seat was the moment she began to feel completely overwhelmed. Her tears began to flow freely again. Despite herself, Cameron put the key in the engine and turned it. The car sputtered to life and Cameron pulled out of the garage._

_The road was slick and the raindrops fell hard on the hood of her car. She was tired and heartbroken. The last thing Cameron saw was the bright headlights of an eighteen wheeler. She welcomed them. _

House arrived in the ER just as Allison Cameron did. The paramedics wheeled her past him quickly and into a vacant room. House followed and placed his hand against the door she had passed through only moments ago. There had always been a wall between them, no matter how hard either of them tried to break it down, it still stood. "Allison…"


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks to everyone for you kind words, I really appreciate it. I felt bad about leaving all of you hanging for the next week, so I decided to write a short chapter to tide you over. I don't think it's my best, but I hope that you enjoy it anyway.

As always, I look forward to hearing from all of you!

Chapter 14- Who's to blame?

House sat silently, on the floor on the emergency room. He hadn't spoken to anyone since Cameron had been brought in forty five minutes earlier. He was in completely lost within himself.

"Dr. House?"

House's head shot up. Dr. Beanner was standing in front of him, the concern in her eyes was evident. She spoke again.

"Dr. House, are you aware that Dr. Cameron has you listed as her medical proxy?" She had a feeling that she knew the answer.

"No." He shook his head before letting it hang down. Why would Cameron chose him to be her medical proxy? Why not her parents? Or her sister? At that moment House felt even worse then he did before. She had trusted him with her life and he couldn't protect her. He had failed her.

"I just wanted to let you know, incase…" Dr. Beanner's voice trailed off.

At those words, House's head shot up. He found himself somehow filled with a resolve he didn't know he had. There was no way that he was going to let Cameron die. He had failed her before, this time it would be different. He stood up suddenly. The movement caused Dr. Beanner to jump back.

"Dr. House!" She gave him a worried look and nodded towards his right leg.

"I'm fine!" The harshness of his tone caught her off guard.

She nodded slightly. "I'm sorry."

"How is she?" House asked quickly, wanting to shift the focus from him. His blue eyes looked straight at her-pleading with her. Nothing else mattered except Cameron.

"She's on a ventilator. There has been significant trauma to her head and Torso. She has also shattered her right femur and has a broken he left hand. As it stands right now she could go either way." There was sadness in her voice, he could tell that she didn't want to be the one to break the news.

House was on the verge of tears, but he held them back. To cover up the pain he felt, he retreated from his feelings and went into puzzle solving mode.

"Do you know yet what caused the accident? I mean was there any evidence to indicate an underlying condition? Something that may have made her lose control? Did she have a seizure or a str-"

Dr. Beanner cut him off. "Other than the trauma she suffered, there doesn't appear to be anything else wrong with her. The police said that her tires had almost no treading left, the rain was just too much. She swerved into another lane and crashed into a transport truck. "

House sighed. The tires and the rain weren't the whole story. He didn't want to believe that their encounter had caused the accident, but he knew it was his fault. If he hadn't have told her how he felt, none of this would have happened. He was responsible.

"Can I go see her?" As he spoke a single tear fell from his eye. It was saddest thing Dr. Beanner had ever seen.

"I'm afraid not Dr. House. We're still working on her, fixing a few of her more minor injuries. You can go in after that though, it shouldn't take more than half an hour." She said. Dr. Beanner placed her hand on House's shoulder and gave him a faint smile.

"Thank you…"

"Your welcome. The nurses will let you know when you can go in and see Dr. Cameron." She removed her hand from House's shoulder and walked away.

House stood there dazed. He stared straight ahead, his blues focused on the wall across from him, as if he were looking at some unattainable treasure- as if he was looking at Allison Cameron.

"House! How is she?" Foreman voice brought House back to reality.

"Not good, she could go wither way." he said softly. Saying the words out loud made him sick to his stomach.

"House, I'm sorry this is all my fault." he sighed and slid down against the wall.

"What are you talking about? You haven't done anything wrong." House didn't understand why Foreman would think that he was at fault. After all House was clearly the one to blame for Cameron's accident.

"I saw Cameron before she left and I could tell that there was something wrong with her. She was sitting in your office alone. She was crying and shaking a lot." Foreman looked down at the floor and continued speaking. He couldn't face House. "I offered to take her home, but I didn't. I let her go and now…I'm so sorry House."

House's piercing blue eyes stared intently at the man sitting below him. At first he felt like hitting Foreman. Not because he deserved it, but because he wanted something-anything to distract him from the pain he felt. House thought better of it, and decided instead to do nothing. Foreman had suffered enough.

She told me what you said to her-that you loved her." Foreman looked up towards House now.

'Cameron always did have a big mouth…' House thought to himself. The slightest smirk made it's way to his face, as the thought of Cameron telling everyone about the conditions for her coming back to work almost two years earlier crept into his mind. Then the reality of the situation hit him again and the fragile smile disappeared as quickly as it had arrived.

House looked away from Foreman, before he spoke. "It wasn't your fault…it was mine." He placed his hand on Foreman's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

House couldn't wait ay longer, he needed to see her. He removed his hand from Foreman's shoulder and walked towards Cameron's room. He opened the door and enter slowly.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15- Broken bones and Distractions

House looked at Cameron, her beautiful eyes were now closed shut, her face completely swollen. Her head was wrapped tightly in white gauze, her beautiful brown hair lost beneath it. Her right leg was completely encased in a blue fiberglass cast as was left arm. The image made his heart cry out. Never in his life had House been so affected by one single happening as he had been by this. He cried. Never in his entire life had Gregory House cried as much as he had on this single day. Not when he was constantly being moved as a child, not when he had his infarction, not when Stacy had left twice, and not when he had been shot-only Allison Cameron could bring out this kind of emotion in him. She was the only thing in his miserable life that mattered. He whipped the tears from his eyes-he needed to be strong. He grabbed a chair and quietly set it next to Cameron's bed. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it lovingly-he wasn't sure if she could feel it, but if she could then he was glad to show her that he was there-that he loved her.

"Dr. House?" A young nurse was looking directly at him nervously. "I'm sorry but I'm afraid you can't be here yet. We still haven't-"

"Please, let me stay…I won't get in your way." House looked directly at her. His eyes were sad and heavy. His nose was swollen and blue from the fight he had with Wilson earlier. The nurse could clearly see that there was no way he was leaving the room.

"Okay…" She nodded and went back to attending to Cameron.

House sat silently as the nurse finished her duties. His eyes closed and his head down. If the nurse didn't know better she would have thought he was sleeping. When she finally left the room almost twenty five minutes later House's head shot up and his eyelids lifted to reveal his sad eyes.

"Ally…" His voice was low and filled with guilt. "I'm sorry, about everything. I made a mistake." He squeezed her hand even tighter. "It was a stupid thing to do. I should have stayed with you, listened to you, but I didn't and now you're here."

"House?" Wilson spoke softly, partly because he didn't want to disturb House, and partly because his ribs hurt if he spoke too loudly. "Cuddy paged me and told me what happened, how is she?"

"Not good, there's some swelling around her brain, she has a collapsed lung, three broken ribs, her femur's broken and so is her wrist. They don't think she'll make it." House turned towards Wilson. "This is all my fault." He would have cried again at that moment, but he had no tears left.

"No House, it isn't your fault, it isn't anyone's fault. The weather was bad, it-it was just an act of God, no one could have stopped it." Wilson walked toward House and placed his hand lovingly on his shoulder. House may not have been able to cry anymore, but Wilson was crying enough for the both of them.

"God, God, God! God's a bastard! He brings me to her, tells me that everything is going to be okay, and then this happens, he lied to me, damnit!" House stood up and looked Wilson in the eye. He seemed as though he was going to hit Wilson again, instead he hugged him. For the first time in their seven year friendship House reached out and wrapped his arms around his best friend. Wilson returned the gesture. They stood there for a long time giving each other strength and support. Until Wilson finally spoke.

"House, I know how upset you are, just know that I'm here for you…everyone is." He decided to try and lighten the mood a bit "Your nose looks like crap by the way, I always knew I could kick your ass." Wilson smiled slightly.

"Right…" House responded. He removed his arms from Wilson and gave him a soft punch in the gut. Wilson fell to the floor like a ton of bricks. "Hmm…that's what I thought."

"Touché…" Wilson said. His face was planted firmly against the cold tile, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. House extended a strong hand-Wilson took it. With House's help he slowly stood up. Wilson sluggishly walked towards the chair House had been sitting on moments earlier. Leaving House to venture into the hallway and find a new chair.

As he did so Chase and Foreman stood up an ran towards him. "How is she?" Chase asked nervously. "I mean is it serious? Is she gonna be okay?"

"I don't know…" House couldn't muster anymore words. It hurt to much to think about it.

Chase nodded and sat back down. Foreman continued to stand looking directly at the floor.

"Foreman, please this wasn't your fault. Just, stop blaming yourself." House was kind, his words filled with a genuine need to relieve Foreman of his guilt. "Have her parents been notified?"

"I don't think so, I could call them." Foreman jumped at the idea of doing something-anything other than just waiting .

"Do it. And Chase" He nodded to the young Australian. "I need you to go monitor Charlie, you're his attending."

Chase nodded and stood up. He knew House was trying to keep him occupied-he appreciated the gesture.

Foreman and Chase sped off, each glad to have the distraction they so desperately desired.

"House! Get in here!" Wilson yelled from inside Cameron's room.

House ran inside, prepared for the worst.


	16. Chapter 16

I recieved a review saying that House was out of character, and although I did't really agree with it, I decided to try and address it. I've added a bit more snark to this scene so hopefully all will be happy. As usual all comments and critisism are welcome!

Happy reading!

888888

Chapter 16-Old Habits

House ran through the doorway guns blazing, ready to do whatever it took to save Allison Cameron's life. His chest was pounding like crazy, which seemed odd considering the fact that it his heart felt like it was in his throat. The strange sensation almost kept him from speaking-almost.

"What happened! Is she Crashing!" He was filled with adrenaline.

"No she's-she's moving." Wilson nodded towards Cameron's feet. "You see that. It's a good sign." Wilson's smile stretched across his boyish face.

House suddenly became calm and walked over towards Wilson. "What the hell did you do that for!" House yelled. He gave Wilson a smack on the back of his head.

"What are you talking about?" Wilson was confused, and his head hurt.

"You gave me a friggin' heart attack! You scream, act as if something terrible is happening, when all that's she's doing is moving her foot! How stupid is that?" House feigned anger. "Do you do this to your patients? 'Oh my God! It's horrible, your cancer -it's-it's getting better!' What kind of doctor are you?"

"Well I-"

"That wasn't really a question." House said smugly.

"Right…" Wilson conceded. He was glad that House seemed to be returning to his normal self-despite the current situation they found themselves in.

"You hungry?" House asked softly.

"What you want me to go and buy you lunch, after you beat the crap out of me?" Wilson asked sarcastically.

"No you twit! I could seriously use a rueben, and I was wondering if you wanted anything. I'll pay for it…."

"House? What the hell is going on with you? First the hug and now offering to buy me food, either your trying to get into my pants or your trying to give me a coronary-It could be either one really…" Wilson's smile and wiggled his eyebrows slightly.

"Sorry Wilson, I like big, strong, hairy men-you possess none of those qualities. I'm afraid you'll just have to keep on dreaming."

"Oh no, how ever will I survive?" Wilson mocked in an effeminate tone.

"Go ask Chase, I'm sure he'd sleep with you, or at least let you get to second…"

"Go get you food House."

"Right. I'll be back in twenty minutes, page me if something changes." House turned around and left the room. Leaving Wilson to monitor Cameron.

He felt guilty for leaving Cameron, but he needed something to take away the pain he felt. House stepped into the elevator and took it to the third floor. He slowly exited and walked down the hallway, removing a credit card from his wallet along the way. When he got to Wilson's door he slid the card in and began to jimmy open the lock. After minimal effort the lock clicked open and House slid in silently. He began searching the drawers of Wilson oak desk until he had found what he was looking for. Wilson's stack of scripts was hidden in his bottom drawer under a two month old medical journal. He ripped one off, placed everything as it had been inside the drawer and shut it. House took the fountain pen off of the desk and filled out a script for 500mg of vicodin and signed Wilson's name to it. After more than seven years of Wilson writing prescriptions for him, House had finally got a handle on his handwriting-it wasn't perfect but he figured it would do the trick. House left the office just as he had found it and slipped out quietly. House waited patiently for the elevator, when it finally arrived Cuddy was standing within it.

"House, what are you doing up here? How's Cameron doing?" The first question was filled with skepticism, the second was filled with genuine concern.

"She's stable at the moment, and she moved before, hopefully it's a good sign." House purposely avoided the first question-he was too tired to lie.

"That's great news! But why are you up here?" Cuddy became more suspicious when House had avoided her question.

"I-Wilson needed me to come up and find an extra lab coat, the one's he's wearing now has some blood on it. Hookers were a little too rough I guess…" House said mischievously.

"Right…" Cuddy didn't feel like arguing with him. "I have a meeting to get to, will you page me if there's any change in Cameron's condition?"

"Yes, my mistress." House bowed slightly as the elevator doors closed.

House made a quick stop at the cafeteria. He picked himself up a reuben, a bag of lays and a coke, and decided to get Wilson a roast beef sandwich and a bottle of water. He made a mental note to ask Wilson for the 4.75$ that he had spent on him-Wilson would pay him back. He stuck everything in a brown paper bag and headed towards the pharmacy.

"Good afternoon Dr. House. Although I am sorry to hear about Dr. Cameron."

"Thanks." House handed him the forged script.

"Vicodin? You haven't been down here in months." The pharmacist wasn't sure why House had suddenly showed up asking for medication when he hadn't seen him in two months.

"Yeah, well I'm here now aren't I? Are you gonna give me the damn pills or not?" House didn't appreciate the pharmacists curiousity.

"This doesn't look like Dr. Wilson's handwriting…" He began to examine the piece of paper more closely.

"Dr. Wilson is having a tough day, we all are-I guess his hand writing is a little shaky. Do you really want to pull him away from his dying friends side just to ask him why his hand writing looks different?" House spoke coldly. He wasn't going to let some push over stop him from getting what he needed.

The pharmacist eyed House closely before finally speaking. "Alright…" He dropped the script on the counter and filled a pillbox with vicodin. He begrudgingly handed it to House.

Without saying another word House sped off back towards the ER. Before he entered Cameron's room he popped open the container and swallowed three vicodin-dry. They didn't go down to easily. He opened his soda and took a large gulp to ease the large pills down his throat. He placed the container in his pocket and walked into the room casually.

"Any change?" He asked Wilson.

"None, Dr. Beanner said that they're going to move her into the ICU within the next hour." Wilson responded.

"Here I got you something to eat-you owe me 5.00$ by the way." House removed his food from the bag and threw it at Wilson.

"Gee thanks…."

"Go home Wilson, you need to rest. I'll stay here for the night." House looked Wilson in the eye.

"No I'll be fine."

"No you won't, I beat the crap out of you earlier. Go home, I'll call you if anything changes."

"Right, thanks House." Wilson stood up slowly walked towards his best friend. He placed his hand gently on his shoulder. "You sure you'll be okay?"

House nodded.

With that Wilson walked out of the room, leaving House alone with Cameron. He walked towards Cameron's bed, sat and held her hand again. House closed his eyes. The vicodin had begun to kick in almost immediately. He began to feel, strange and disconnected. Maybe taking three pills wasn't the best idea, but it was too late to go back. He was disappointed with himself for not being able to stay off the vicodin, but he was so happy to have them back. House squeezed Cameron's hand tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm not stronger."

He drifted off to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

This is the final chapter of my fiction Was it a dream. I hope you all enjoyed the story thus far and that you enjoy the final chapter.

I've decided to stop writing because balancing school, extra curriculars, a social life and having my story on the back burner is just to much. I think it's a good ending to the story, and it's how I always envisioned it ending. Thanks so much to everyone who read this, and as usual I look forward to hearing from all of you, happy reading!

888

Chapter 17- Pretense and Illusions

A week had passed since Cameron's car accident, and not much had changed. She had been moved to a private room and taken off life support. The doctors had repaired her collapsed lung and had managed to reduce the swelling around her brain. The recovery process seemed to be going well, with the exception of the fact that Cameron just wasn't waking up-she was still in a coma.

House had spent much of the week by Cameron's side. He had sent Wilson to his apartment to get clean clothes and his toothbrush. Everyday House would leave her side for an hour, in which he showered and went to the cafeteria to buy his food for the day. During that week House had snuck into Wilson's office twice to fill out scripts for more vicodin. His leg pain was starting to become an issue again, he had developed a slight limp but no one really noticed-they were to busy thinking about Cameron. Not even Wilson had noticed his subtle decent into his relapsed drug addiction. In that respect, House was glad that Cameron was hurt, it kept people from bothering him with what he considered to be the trivialities of his miserable life. He had always hated people poking and prodding into his personal life "Question me as a doctor, not as a person-don't get personal." he would say.

Over the last week House had found that there was very little do while at Cameron's side other than to think. He recalled a conversation that he had with Wilson almost two years earlier.

"_Do you think that you'll ever change?" Wilson asked as he took a large drink of his beer. He was slightly drunk and felt like annoying House._

"_What kind of stupid question is that?" He asked clearly aggravated with the subject. He quickly downed his glass of whiskey. _

"_Well I'm just saying…" House cut him off._

"_People can't change, they only think they can, do you know why?" _

_Wilson looked into House's cobalt eyes, trying to understand why his best friend hated the idea of life and love so much-he didn't see anything, House was merely an empty shell._

"_People think they can change because they think that they love another human being enough to try and do anything for them. The reality is that no one loves anyone, we just think we do. We're all selfish, we all only care about ourselves, and everyone else is just collateral damage. From birth we're taught to believe in love and compassion, to be selfless, but when it comes down to it, we all choose life-our own life, no one else matters, we just think they do. Change is an illusion, like pulling a rabbit out of a hat, or sawing a woman in half. We are what we are, and what we are is quite simple, were animals whose only purpose is to live, breed and die. There is no change without love, and love is just a pretense for procreation, nothing more."_

_House looked down into his glass, it was empty-like his life._

"House?" A very soft voice immediately caught his attention. He looked toward Cameron and saw that she was looking at him and smiling.

"Hey there." He said. House quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. "How do you feel?"

"Everything hurts, how bad was it?" Cameron sat up slightly and surveyed her injuries.

"You broke your arm, and your leg, you had a collapsed lung and some swelling around your brain. Your doctor said that everything seems to be healing though, you'll be outta her in no time."

"Well that explains the pain then." Cameron smiled weakly as did House.

"Do you need anything?" House asked concerned.

"I think I'm okay, although my throat is a little dry, would you mind getting me a glass of water?"

"Sheesh, you've been awake for like thirty seconds and your already telling me what to do." House rolled his eyes and feigned frustration before getting up and shooting Cameron a playful smile. House walked toward his bag and grabbed a bottle of water limping slightly along the way-Cameron noticed instantly.

"House your leg, is it hurting again?" Cameron sat up even further and painfully crossed her arms across her chest.

"It's fine, don't worry about me." He walked slowly back towards the bed and handed her the water.

"House, please tell me the truth." Cameron's concern was clearly evident.

"I think the ketamine may be wearing off, It won't be long before the pain returns completely and I'll have to use a cane again." House took a deep breath and sighed heavily. He placed his hand on his leg and rubbed it gently. Cameron reached over and placed her hand atop his.

"I'm sorry House, everything will be okay." She smiled at him slightly, trying to show him that she would be there for him.

"I said it was fine. I'm not a child, I don't need your pity or your reassurance." He spoke gently and calmly as if he were discussing the weather or soaring interest rates.

Cameron was taken back by what House had said, she slowly removed her hand from his and stared at the wall in front of her. She knew he had meant it, House had never been the kind of man needed reassurance and he sure as hell never wanted anyone to feel sorry for him.

"Your right." She said, still looking straight ahead.

House cursed himself under his breath. As much as he hated people trying to comfort him he knew that she was just trying to help. After all, that's what people do when they _think _they love someone-they try to make things better.

"Did you do it on purpose?" House asked quickly.

"You mean the accident?" Cameron wasn't looking at him, she didn't want to. He always knew when she was lying by the way she looked at him.

"Yes." House said quietly.

"I didn't crash on purpose, but I didn't care if I died. I was ready, I think for the end. When I saw the truck coming I asked myself what it would be like to die-if anyone would care, and I realized that you would because…you loved me, and that was enough. Knowing that you loved me made it feel better somehow, like I had lived a full life." Small tears began to gently fall from Cameron's beautiful eyes.

"You were ready to die because I loved you?" House looked down at the floor. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

"Yes." Cameron said simply.

"And now?" He looked directly at her.

"I'm ready to live because you love me." Cameron looked towards House with a nervous smile on her face.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. For a moment the pain each of them felt seemed to disappear and all that was left was each other.

House stood up slowly from his chair and limped towards Cameron. He sat next to her on the bed, looked directly into her eyes and smiled. He hugged her gently and ran his hand through her hair. He took in the moment and made a mental note of everything; her scent, her skin, her body-God she was beautiful. He would never have this moment again. "Pretense and illusion…" He whispered softly into her ear,

House gently released her from his embrace and looke into her eyes one last time.

"I'm sorry Allison. I am what I am, and that will never change-Nothing is real, we just think it is. I can't be with you-I don't love you." He spoke softly, as if it were the easiest thing in the world-it wasn't.

End.


	18. Chapter 18

Hey all,

I've decided to add an epilogue to this story just to give it some sort of closure, since i felt that there was still more to be resolved. I also know that some people had a bit of a problem with my ending, and though i found it to be true to the characters, it was rather blunt and out of the blue( i really didn't have time to continue because of school and i didn't want an unfinished story floating around the interweb), so enter epilogue.

This still may not be what people are expecting, but alot can be said for creative license.

I hope that there are still people who are interested in finding out what happened to the characters and I do as always hope to hear from all of you--reviews, including constructive critisism are always appreciated.

With that being said: Please enjoy!

Epilogue

"_You were ready to die because I loved you?" House looked down at the floor. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear the answer._

"_Yes." Cameron said simply._

"_And now?" He looked directly at her._

"_I'm ready to live because you love me." Cameron looked towards House with a nervous smile on her face. _

_They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. For a moment the pain each of them felt seemed to disappear and all that was left was each other. _

_House stood up slowly from his chair and limped towards Cameron. He sat next to her on the bed, looked directly into her eyes and smiled. He hugged her gently and ran his hand through her hair. He took in the moment and made a mental note of everything; her scent, her skin, her body-God she was beautiful. He would never have this moment again. "Pretense and illusion…" He whispered softly into her ear, _

_House gently released her from his embrace and looked into her eyes one last time. _

"_I'm sorry Allison. I am what I am, and that will never change-Nothing is real, we just think it is. I can't be with you-I don't love you." He spoke softly, as if it were the easiest thing in the world-it wasn't._

Five months had passed since Allison Cameron's car accident, and Gregory Houses' relapse into drug addiction. Five long months had passed since Gregory House had told Allison Cameron that he didn't love her.

He had cared for her, that much was certain. But Allison Cameron deserved much more than that: she deserved love. Something that Gregory House didn't believe in, and therefore wasn't equipped to give. It had hurt him, to leave Allison Cameron: to tell her that he didn't love her, but it was true. Gregory House didn't love anybody: his parents, Stacy, himself. He was cold, he was a shell, incapable of anything more than a simple one night stand. That was why he had failed with Stacy and that was why he would have failed with Allison Cameron. He was defective, he was damaged, and he didn't deserve someone like Allison Cameron.

The first two months had been months filled awkward glances, and equally awkward conversations. Neither made eye contact with the other, or spoke with one another unless it involved a case, or the harsh New Jersey weather. They both wished that it could end, the awkwardness, the discomfort they each felt, but of course that was not possible. Allison Cameron had signed a new contract just before the incident, and wasn't about to appear weak by asking to be let out of her contact. She was strong, and she would show him that.

Gregory House on the other hand, he was just far too comfortable with the overall treatment that he received at Princeton Plainsboro to even bother going anywhere else. Besides, Wilson was at Princeton Plainsboro, and so was Cuddy, where else was he going to find people like them? Friends like them? This was where he belonged, despite his constant complaints.

After four months, everybody had developed a sense of Stockholm Syndrome. The employees of Princeton Plainsboro became strangely comfortable with the discomfort that surrounded them. Nothing had changed, the awkward looks, the awkward conversations, they all remained--only they didn't feel "awkward", they felt right. The silence and intense staring between co-workers had become accepted practice, and nobody was going to complain about it.

After five months, Allison Cameron had become bold, asserting herself and her opinions. Allison Cameron had become distant and cold. Allison Cameron had started to take risks, without thinking about how they would affect others. People began to listen to her, take her seriously. They no longer viewed her as a sad little doctor, pining for her mentors affection: she was a strong, intelligent and powerful woman: someone not to be trifled with. Allison Cameron told herself that she had done this to show people just how great of a doctor she could be, but in truth there were no "people", there was only a "person", but that person had made himself clear, he had wanted nothing to do with her. If this was the case, then she was going to do whatever it took to make sure that she never had to feel that kind of pain again. Allison Cameron was going to become Gregory House.

Gregory House had noticed the differences in Allison Cameron right away. The way she spoke, the way she walked, and the way she interacted with her patients: she had changed drastically. She no longer seemed to care about protocol, or how other people viewed her: she lived only for herself and for the puzzle: nothing else mattered.

They met in the elevator, after solving a case. The "awkward" pleasantries were exchanged before she finally asked:

"Why did you do it?" Her voice was direct and no emotion could be detected.

"For you." He replied simply. His blue eyes shinning, mirroring the intense sadness that he felt. It was true after all, he had left her to protect her. He cared.

"Why are you doing this now?" He asked her. He hoped that the answer that came from her mouth was not the one he had been dreading.

"For you." It took her but a moment to answer, and again, there was nothing. Her green eyes were clear, empty.

They stared at each other intensely, understanding each other completely. Gregory Houses' sacrifice had destroyed the one thing that he was trying to protect. Gregory House, had sacrificed himself to protect Allison Cameron, and in the end all it did was destroy her.

Was it a Dream? No. It was a nightmare.


End file.
